The Ice Breaker
Moms and Dads Against Meth, Inc.
E-mail: madatmeth@yahoo.com
Website: www.methawareness.org
Website: www.butterflyhousescf.org
Volume 5, Issue
1
Fall 2009
“There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is
in having lots to do and not doing it.”
–Mary Wilson Little
“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start
a thing.
Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.”
-Frank Tibolt
Welcome
back, Readers!
The quotes above relate to the reasons you
haven’t seen a copy of the Ice Breaker since early spring.
The
Editor had a little case of burnout, which developed into spring fever, then
slid into summer doldrums. Oh, those long, lovely days of sitting on the porch,
reading a book and planning nothing farther ahead than the next meal!
Now
that we have heard from a few readers that they miss the newsletter, we realize
that it’s time to get back to work.
Butterfly
House cookbooks are now available
Summer has flown by at the Butterfly
House! All the residents have had turns at gardening chores; weeding flower
beds, mowing, and trimming. Some women enjoy them more than others, and we
suspect that fall will be a relief for those who don’t like to garden. Our
resident two-year-old and his mother made a project of planting flowers in the
spring, and their efforts really added to the beauty of the yard.
At the moment, we have four residents one
of whom has her son with her. One resident recently achieved 14 months
sobriety, and we’re very proud of her success. Our newest resident is searching
for work, and the others have all found jobs (a huge accomplishment in this
economy!). Everyone in the house is required to perform community service, and
they are finding there are any number of ways to help out in the
Some readers may remember that we were
asking for recipes to be assembled into a cookbook for a fundraiser for the
House. The cookbook is now printed and available for a $10 donation.
From the recipe for Monarch butterflies inside
the front cover, to the Native American legend in the back, the book makes good
reading, with terrific, tried-and-true recipes, and lots of words to live
by. The “It Works If You Work It Dilly
Bread” is quite tasty, as are the “Easy Does It Oatmeal Cookies” and the
“Pain is Optional Pound Cake”. . . one can see that the book is geared
toward recovery, although the recipes and wise words will appeal to everyone.
At present the Butterfly House Cookbook: Good Food and Wise Words is
available for purchase by mail: Butterfly House,
The
Butterfly House
Mission Statement
Our mission is to provide a safe, sober residence for women
in recovery from alcohol or other drug dependency while introducing sober
living skills, peer-to-peer fellowship and support and educational experiences
that will aid them in the transition back into their families and/or
communities.
T.O.A.D.
(Think Over And Discuss)
Topics
“If you don't want to do something, one excuse
is as good as another.”
Reasons or Excuses?
It’s a funny thing, when dealing with people who
are chemically dependent, no one ever says “My excuse for _________ is
_______.” No, there is always a REASON, and a GOOD one, for failing to comply
with rules, not doing assignments, and not working a good program of sobriety.
Circle the answer you think is correct in the questions below:
“I couldn’t go to the NA meeting because I got a phone
call at the last minute and it made me late, and I didn’t want to disrupt the
meeting by walking in late.” Reason or excuse?
“I drank because my friend was celebrating his
birthday and I didn’t want to offend him by turning down a beer.” Reason or excuse?
“I had a flat tire.” Reason or excuse?
The fact is, a REASON is defined as a
truthful account of the facts in a
situation. A reason is a respectful and thoughtful explanation. A person giving
a reason for a particular action or occurrence is not motivated by fear
or deceit. A reason leaves the discussion open to finding remedies without
seeking someone to blame.
An excuse, on the other hand, can be all about
blame, as in blaming other people and circumstances for the problem, to deflect
blame and criticism from oneself. In giving an excuse, the person abdicates
responsibility for the situation. An excuse is rooted in fear of failure, of
punishment, or of loss of respect. (Ironically, excuses are easily seen through
and actually can result in any of the above consequences.)
Making excuses can erode one’s self-respect, and
become a dangerous habit. For the chemically dependent, especially, the line
between an excuse and a reason is a fine one. Learning the difference between
the two and resolving to stick to reasons, not excuses, can have a huge impact
on recovery.
When faced with a question requiring explanation,
we should ask ourselves a few questions before we speak.
What is my intent? Do I
want to get out of “trouble” in my answer? Will I place blame on something or
someone else to deflect attention from me and my behavior? Do I want to give an
honest account?
Am I willing
to accept the consequences, learn from the situation, and move to correct the
problem?
Can I think of something I could
have done differently to avoid the problem?
Remember, a “good excuse” is an oxymoron; there’s
no such animal. It would be better to try to live up to a standard in which no
excuses are needed.
An
excuse is worse than a lie, for an excuse is a lie, guarded. –Alexander Pope
Don't make
excuses, make good. –Elbert Hubbard
Hold
yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you,
never excuse yourself.
–Henry Ward Beecher
_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_
Pharmaceutical
remedies for opiate addiction
Long ago, ancient Greeks discovered that
chewing willow bark reduced fever and alleviated pain. Salicin is the natural
chemical that produces the effect, and in later years, aspirin was developed
from that discovery. Many, many other beneficial drugs have been discovered in
similar fashion, from early plant-based remedies used by ancient healers. We
humans are fond of treating our ailments aggressively, creating a hugely
successful pharmaceutical industry, as well as a booming trade in illegal (or
illegally obtained) substances.
Pharmaceutical research is a multi-billion
dollar business, with laboratories studying everything from cancer drugs to
obesity treatments, and drugs that are prescribed to lessen symptoms of
withdrawal from drugs.
Probably the most well-known of these is
Methadone. Although it is chemically different from heroin or morphine, it acts
in much the same way on opioid receptors, producing many of the same effects.
Methadone is also prescribed for chronic pain, since its cost is less than half
the cost of similar pain medications (fentanyl, morphine, Vicodin). Methadone
has a cross-tolerance with other opioids, which means that heroin or morphine
users will have decreased response to Methadone because of their tolerance to
the other opioids.
At low doses, Methadone can mitigate
withdrawal symptoms ( in opioid users trying to stop; at higher doses,
methadone blocks the euphoric effect of other opioids, while keeping the
patient from suffering withdrawal symptoms. Unfortunately, the withdrawal
symptoms suffered from methadone are similar to those of other opioids, but the
symptoms can persist for months, even after the patient has been weaned to the
lowest possible dosage. Thus, many clinicians switch their patients to
Buprenorphine after treatment with methadone to ease the withdrawal.
Buprenorphine, distributed as Suboxone or
Subutex is used for the treatment of opioid addiction. Often prescribed to help
opiate addicts detox, buprenorphine reduces the uncomfortable withdrawal
symptoms such as diarrhea, vomiting, fever, chills, cold sweats, muscle and
bone aches, agitation, restless limbs, insomnia, runny nose and eyes,
nightmares, and hallucinations. In order for buprenorphine to be fully safe and
effective, the patient must be in complete withdrawal from other opiates,
including methadone. Detox with buprenorphine can last seven to ten days. It
has also been found to be an effective tool in treating depression in patients
who can’t tolerate conventional antidepressants, although it is not yet
approved for this use. Like other opioids, buprenorphine can cause drowsiness
and respiratory depression, which makes it a dangerous drug to abuse or combine
with other depressants, particularly benzodiazepines.
Medication alone, however, does little to
treat the problem of addiction, which is a complicated disease of body, mind,
and spirit. Patients who receive counseling, group therapy, and attend
Narcotics Anonymous meetings, following a Twelve Step program of recovery, have
the best chance of success.
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Dual Diagnosis: A complicated recovery
A 1990 report published by the Journal of
the American Medical Association (JAMA) found that thirty-seven percent of
alcohol abusers and fifty-three percent of drug abusers also have at least one
serious mental illness. Of all people diagnosed as mentally ill, 29 percent
abuse either alcohol or drugs.
The common psychiatric problems found in
dual diagnosis patients include depression, bipolar, generalized anxiety,
panic, obsessive-compulsive disorders, phobias, and schizophrenia, borderline
personality disorders.
The following table is based on a National
Institute of Mental Health study, listing seven major psychiatric disorders and
the increased risk of substance abuse.
Psychiatric
Increased Risk
Disorder For Substance Abuse
Antisocial personality disorder 15.5%
Manic episode 14.5
Schizophrenia 10.1
Panic disorder 4.3
Major depressive episode 4.1
Obsessive-compulsive disorder 3.4
Phobias 2.4
Thus, one’s likelihood of developing a
drug or alcohol dependency is multiplied nearly 4 and a half times if one also
suffers from a panic disorder, and 15 and a half times if one has an antisocial
personality disorder.
The question of what presented itself
first, the psychiatric disorder or the chemical dependency is often asked. The
answer depends on the individual. In many cases, the disorder prompted the
patient to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs to alleviate anxiety or sadness.
If the self-medication is frequent, it can lead to dependency. In other cases,
the alcohol or drug user has already developed a dependency and then shows
signs of a personality disorder.
Diagnosing a psychiatric problem in a person
who abuses alcohol or drugs is a complicated process. Since withdrawal from
drugs and alcohol causes symptoms similar to mental health problems (ie.
depression, hallucinations, paranoia), physicians generally wait until
withdrawal is complete before attempting a diagnosis. The detoxing period can
last from a few days to a few weeks, and can be made more comfortable with
medication.
There is a risk of persons with
dual diagnosis abusing their prescribed medication, and Butterfly House has had
to deal with the results of that behavior. As a result, we are no longer able
to accommodate clients who are taking certain medications.
Ideally the dual-diagnosis patient will
have access to treatment for both the chemical dependency and the mental
illness. Counseling, participation in a Twelve Step recovery program, and
lifestyle changes will be necessary for the substance abuse; treatment for the
psychiatric problems will vary according to patient, but may include
medication, group therapy, and individual counseling. Education about the disorder
and support groups of others who share the problem are also helpful.
For family members of a person with a dual
diagnosis, the news may come as both a relief (“I felt that something was
wrong, I just didn’t know what it was.”) and a burden (“Now what do we do to
help him?”). For the chemical dependency, families must learn about the disease
of addiction and their roles (co-dependency, enabling) in it. Dealing with
mental illness will also require them to educate themselves about the disorder,
its remedies, and ways they can help.
Those who suspect that a friend or family
member may have a problem with drugs or alcohol should encourage them to get
help. Although the patient may not be receptive to a discussion of his mental
state and chemical abuse, it certainly doesn’t hurt to broach the subject and
offer support.
For more information:
National Clearinghouse on Alcohol and
Drug Information
http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/facilitylocatordoc.gov
Dual Recovery
Anonymous World Services Central Office
P.O. Box 8107 , Prairie Village , KS
Toll-Free Number:(877) 883-2332
Website URL: http://draonline.org
*******************************
Support for Butterfly House
Butterfly House depends on grants and donations in
order to provide services. For those who would like to donate time and skill,
food, household items, or make a tax-deductible donation, guidelines and
contact information are listed below:
Goods
gratefully accepted:
·
New sleepwear, slippers, undergarments
·
Furniture and baby items in good
condition
·
Household items in good condition:
dishes, cookware, small appliances, silverware, bed linens, blankets, sheets,
new pillows, alarm clocks
·
Recovery books, videos, or meditation
books (new or used)
·
Gas cards, phone cards, and postage
stamps
·
Gardening and yard maintenance items,
bicycles in good condition
·
Toothbrushes, toothpaste, new hair care
items, laundry soaps
·
Sugar, coffee, flour, oatmeal,
canned fruit and vegetables
Other
contributions:
A tax deductible donation can be made to Moms and
Dads Against Methamphetamine, Inc. that will go towards helping residents pay
for prescription costs, medical bills, transportation costs and educational
recovery and activity materials costs. Donations will also help cover
operational costs such as heat, utilities, and emergency expenses for
residents. In addition to helping Butterfly House residents, donations also
cover the cost of printing and mailing the Ice Breaker and other educational
programs of Moms and Dads Against Methamphetamine, Inc.
Since Butterfly House is a member of the St. Croix
Valley Sober House Alliance, all surplus donated items will be shared among
other sober houses in Polk, St. Croix, Pierce, and
To donate, or for more information, contact us at:
Butterfly House,
Or e-mail us at madatmeth@yahoo.com or
butterflyhousescf@yahoo.com
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Editor’s Corner
Relapse. It’s a
frightening word. The dictionary defines it to go into a former state, to
fall back into a former mood, state, or way of life, especially a bad or
undesirable one, after coming out of it for awhile, to become ill again after a
recovery.
For the chemically dependent, it’s
a devastating two-fisted wallop. Punch one: you gave in to a craving you may
not have seen coming. Punch two: now you and everyone around you are hurt,
angry, betrayed, afraid.
Many experts believe that relapse
is a part of the recovery process, a way of establishing a learning curve to
recognize triggers and other obstacles to sobriety. Whether the relapse
ultimately leads to prolonged and profound sobriety depends on how the person
deals with it.
One person, after slipping a
single time, will be more resolved to keep it from happening again, will
establish a relapse prevention plan, and will own up to the slip to his or her
recovery group, asking for support and guidance.
Another person will lose heart,
allow shame to rule actions, and continue to use or drink until he or she
suffers serious consequences. This person can still come to a good outcome, it will
just take longer than the first example.
Others may travel a road of
relapsing and recovering many times. Some of these people will never recover,
others will be able to stop the cycle eventually.
The disease of addiction is complicated,
we shouldn’t expect the recovery process to be easily understood. Achieving
sobriety is not a one-size-fits-all experience.
Just as the alcoholic or drug
addict must deal with his relapse, family, friends, and his support group must
also cope with it. Family members may feel anger, resentment, frustration, and
shame. Sober friends may feel betrayed, cynical, or even fearful for their own
recovery.
Report of a relapse in a long-time
sober meeting mate can send a chill through a recovery group. The longer the
sober period, the more shocked his peers will be, and some will feel concern
for their own success. Once the shock wears off, members of the group may feel
anger, resentment, and betrayal (similar to family emotions, because a
close-knit recovery group can come to seem like a family). If people in the
addict’s life can’t come to terms with the relapse, no one will be able to help
him get back on track.
It’s the first thing they tell us
in Alanon: deal with yourself first. Take a deep breath, grab some calm, and
settle down. Is this your fault? No. Your problem? No. Is anger and resentment
helping? No.
We can, and should, offer support
to the person who slipped. We may talk about the effect their relapse had on
us. We can explain the sense of betrayal and shame. We can talk about our pain
and anger. Then we need to let all of that go.
It’s not our duty to make the
addict who has relapsed feel even more shame and more disheartened than he
already does. We must remember who is most hurt by a relapse: the addict
himself. Heaping blame and shame on him is not apt to encourage him to go to
the next meeting for more of the same.
Offer a helping hand, a prayer,
and forgiveness; give him the gift of hope and fellowship. Remember, “but for
the grace of God .. . “.
One more thing before we go . . .
"Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will
treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it
will be used to measure how you are judged. And why worry about a speck in your
friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying,
`Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see
past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own
eye, then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your
friend's eye."
Matthew
7:1-5